Thank you, and you, and you and....Linky Linky Edition

First off - My apologies for my lack of blogging and my downer attitude lately. I'm still in a bit of a funk, but now I am making an effort to be gentle with myself about it and slowly work through it. What I have been doing lately is forcing myself into good moods and not actually dealing with the situation(s) at hand. So, in an effort to pull myself out of this in a healthy and sustainable way, I will be sharing more and more.

To start I want to thank everyone who sent me good wishes on both twitter and through my blog. Having a place to vent my nuts-o-ness is very very helpful.

In addition to writing, reading is great therapy. I finally caught up on my Google Reader today (after a week long hiatus) and found that there are so many people facing the same struggles or who have overcome them. My reads always leave me inspired and relaxed. I figure I should stop taking that for granted...

Here's a taste of what I've been relating too and drawing strength from:

On Money:

FCN listed some *interesting* money making ideas...I'm not beyond considering some of them!

J.D. at Get Rich Slowly helped me avert some spending by considering these questions....well, he hasn't yet, but he will next time I leave the house. This should be really helpful in achieving my "don't by anything (even food) until you've exhausted all options already available at HOME" goal (more on my recent goals to come).

Free From Broke discussed using Google calendar to stay on top of bills. I used to do that but have neglected to track much of anything since losing my job in October. Time to shape up...not having a job should not = laziness and inefficiency!!

Leo at Zen Habits suggested some HUGE ways to save. Got me thinking about my car. I love, Love, LOVE it! But, given the fact that the payment alone eats up a huge chunk of my unemployment, I am finding it hard to justify keeping it for anything other than "I WANT". I really need to put some serious thought into this. Any opinions out there??

Kevin at lifehacker reminded me to get off my self-pittying butt and get on those credit card companies to help me take a load off!!

Revanche got me thinking about my own pride and insecurities about asking for/accepting financial help. Just being on unemployment makes me feel like a giant leach...and don't even get me started how much I feel like a gold-digging jerk for having a wonderfully patient BF who is happily helping me make it through this shitty economy. Now, if it ever comes to having to ask someone else for help...Jeebus help me, I might just explode!

On Productivity (or lack there-of):

Blunt Money hit the nail on the head. I am also guilty of putting off things that I don't understand; even more, I put off things that just seem overwhelming. This, of course, only makes them seem more and more unmanageable. Kind of like writing over the last couple weeks....

The Wisdom Journal really struck a cord with me in this post. I definitely see-saw between these two mindsets. Recently, though, I have been nothing but a feeler: I've let my fears and hardships cloud my life. Not good, not good.

Zen Habits guest post by UrbanMonk was incredibly motivating. I'm going to give his exercise a try and report back.

On my Career/Job/Future:

On the plus side - Squawkfox brightened my day by telling me my resume is actually in pretty good shape; being action-word laden and all!

Another one from Zen Habits that helped me out. Jonathan just put into writing all the things I already know about myself. I am frightened, insecure, and afraid of judgment ... and it's holding me back. I have a plan to overcome this...

J.D.'s post at Get Rich Slowly about Finding Jobs right now gave me a swift kick in the arse and reminded me that giving up is not an option.

FCN is helping me overcome some of that fear I keep talking about. I am starting to formulate a plan, and this post come into play when I work on it. (I'll fill you all in soon!)

On Health, Fitness, & Sanity:

Over at Paid Twice I'm reminded that despite my own "problems", others need support with theirs. This post inspired me to reevaluate my own goals AND stop being so selfish and narrow minded about my situation.

Totally relating to L.L. I spent a beautiful weekend on a beach with my BF while having Pink Eye! UGH!! Our intimacy consisted of him carefully grabbing my face and kissing the "healthy side" Sooooo romantic! lols

Ms. Caitlin inspired my yummy lunch today. Check out my food photo-journal in the sidebar.

I've also been drawing strength and support from One Little Fish. I hope she doesn't lose faith in people completely! We're still out there! *Hugs* and Strength, One Little Fish.

And, of course, some funnies:

Searching for the yeti lists 9 words women use. I am guilty! So going to try and get BF to comment on all of these! I'll report back ... *must find tape recorder*

My kitties heartily agree with this little cutey:

And there are soooo many more bloggers out there that I adore and read daily. Thank you all for having the courage to share your lives! :)

Beautiful Fakeness

This post drives me nuts. Okay, not the article itself, but the subject matter and how it manifests in my life. (I think the article is pretty great and I should probably print and post it right between my two computer monitors.)

In the last 15 months I have completely revamped my body. By all "normal" standards I look and feel pretty good. I am able to run 13 miles without collapsing, I can comfortably wear a size 4 in most brands and I can (sometimes) confidently wear a bikini where appropriate. I should feel proud of myself, and most of the time I do (except PMS days).

But then, at least weekly, I will look at a magazine or watch a TV show and I find myself wondering how much more weight I would need to lose to look like that! I'm a smart girl; I know that those actresses and models are touched up and caked with layers of makeup. But I can't help it, I still compare myself to them on occasion. These moments are rather rare in comparison to my "before" days, but on some rough days all I can do is scarf down chocolate cake and stare at the women I will never be .. and it still hurts, still makes me feel inadequate, and still makes BF want to throw all my magazines and the TV out the window.

And who can blame him! He's smart enough to know those women aren't real, or if they are, they aren't healthy. Why shouldn't I know that? I spent 15 months revamping my life only to fall back into these moments of self loathing. It's ridiculous. And even more ridiculous, is the magazines. Every magazine I read preaches "love yourself" "be healthy" "don't diet, get fit" etc etc. But yet, they airbrush the models accompanying those messages to be thinner and more "flawless" than they already are. Why the all this pain causing hypocrisy?

I have to say though, after exploring the links that Elizabeth provided about touch ups, I don't feel quite so inadequate.

PS. this also makes me wonder if the "fat" celebrity photos are touched up to make them look worse than they actually might.

Old School Link Love

And by "old school" I mean 2008 ;-)

I'm running my 3rd half marathon this Sunday! I am excited and nervous this time. I am not as well trained for this race as my two previous ones so I'm not sure what to expect.

I was just going through the starred items in my Google reader and thought I'd share some of my favorite health & fitness articles from last year.

Some of my favorite tips for brand new runners and healthy living from Leo at ZenHabits. The helped get me off my butt last year!

Here's a challenge I meant to try and never got around to. Post race will be the prefect time.

JD at Get Fit Slowly highlights the best things about getting healthy and Mac delves into our relationship with food.

Some fun, cheap, and healthy beauty tips from Andrea at Wise Bread. The first one is my favorite ;-p

I wonder which runner's pose I'll take for my race day glamor shots?!

Trent at The Simple Dollar suggests abandoning some goals (gasp!!) to stay sane

Sally suggested some great health inspiring holiday gifts that, I think, can be used year round :)

And, finally, I have to leave you with some cute!

Credit Where it's Due

I just realized that I am a bit too hard on myself. In the last couple years I have completely revamped my lifestyle. I started to budget and pay off my debt, then I stopped using debt all together even while unemployed, I started exercising regularly, then running, and I started eating pretty healthily.

I also switched careers to something I would enjoy more but, I am having a hard time with this part right now. I am applying for jobs like a mad woman but I am very torn. On one hand I want to go into marketing/communications because I enjoy it more over all, but the pay is low to start. On the other hand accounting pays excellent given my experience but i get so sick of number crunching that I sometimes just want to throw the computer at a wall.

Now that seems cut and dry, "go for what you like." Not really that simple, while I do enjoy marketing more than accounting, I struggle with a $20-$25 grand pay cut. It might sound shallow and materialistic, but I like nice things. I like to shop and BF and I have lofty goals including marriage, travel, and purchasing a home. So it isn't so easy for me to decide what to do. I figure a couple years of accounting to get some savings taken care of won't hurt, but then, how many people think that and get stuck....time for a bit more soul searching on this!

But back to the point, besides my career conundrum, I have done pretty damn well personally. I am proud of myself. And, if picking a career path is my biggest worry, I need to step back and appreciate all I have and all I've accomplished.

Yoga Knees

My knees are acting up again. I am determined to finish the race series on February 1st. So, I am going to give yoga a try.

Before running, I was a huge fan of Bikram; basically, yoga in a sauna for 90 minutes. It satisfied my need to push my flexibility and sweat off major calories. Unfortunately, I had not yet developed any other healthy habits so I just allowed myself more treats to "reward" the hard work. I did try to go back to Bikram since I began running, it was just a bit too intense for my now tight (in the "owww, it hurts to bend post-run" kind on way) muscles.

With my race only a few weeks away and my knees constantly nagging, I need to do something! Beginning tomorrow at 9:30am (setting alarm clock to ear-drum shattering volume now) I will attempt beginning level Vinyasa Yoga 3 times per week (I might throw in Hatha yoga on Saturdays to mix it up).

I'll be sure to report back on results/disasters ;-)